Monday, November 17, 2008

Stereoscopic Fail Scarring the name of Digital 3-D Cinema

Scar 3-D (2007 / 2008)
Stereoscopic Fail Scarring the name of Digital 3-D Cinema


Scar 3D - promotional still

As Saw V is still running in cinemas and going strong, the public is clearly not tired yet of the old torture porn genre. But Scar 3-D (Scar 3D) just didn’t go anywhere. Released in 2007, it hit English theatres just two weeks ago in November 2008. Sadly, I have not yet been able to see Scar 3-D in my local 3-D cinema as they pulled it after only one week and it looks like other cinemas are pulling it faster than you can say: “3-D bubble”. As the movie was already out on DVD (in anaglyph 3-D), that makes for an odd situation of a film going from cinema to DVD to cinema to DVD, while never hitting any interesting boxoffice numbers. It must, then, have been a sly attempt by its distributor to cash in on the current good press 3-D cinema is getting. And by doing so, the press for 3-D cinema just got a lot worse again.

The fast removal from theatres should be a very strong indicator that this title should probably never have hit the cinemas. But because it did, it got seen by cinema reviewers and they have been giving it a 0% rating overall (Rottentomatoes average). Ouch! That is an epic 3-Dimensional fail.

"This is not our parents’ 3-D with silly red & blue glasses", journalists wrote. No, it is much worse than that: it is a non-existent entertainment shot and projected in digital 3-D. So what is the point of all the superior digital hoohah when the movie itself is painfully bad in the content department?

This is not just the failure of one movie. A 0% rating for a movie with good 3-D photography (judging from the trailer) says something about the use of 3-D for movies overall. The acting and drama in the trailer look like absolute dross, but the use of 3-D looks beautiful. Strong conclusions can be drawn.


Scar 3-D - 3D analgyph still

One of the four following statements must be true, partially or fully, for a 0% approval rating to happen to a 3-D movie with good stereoscopic camera work:

1) 3-D does not add ANY value to a movie, regardless of how bad it is and regardless of the quality of the 3-D photography.

2) No matter how good the delivery is of a movie (colour, digital, 3-D, CinemaScope), if the story, acting and / or direction is bad, it is a waste of time and money.

3) 3-D does not add extra revenue, audience draw or promotional value to a movie if the movie itself (story, acting and / or direction) is bad.

4) Scar 3-D has not managed to use 3-D in any way, shape or form that even resembles an improvement to the entertainment value of the film overall and the story, its characters and the direction in specific.


Scar 3-D - 3D analgyph still

These conclusions should not read as a major surprise. A colour movie is not better than a black & white movie just because it is in colour – that is absolute nonsense. Yet to current 3-D film producers and 3-D proprietors like James Cameron it comes as a shock. Wasn’t 3-D going to add the extra 2 Dollars to the cinema ticket price and wasn’t the audience prepared to pay this extra amount, regardless? You mean we are actually still having to make proper movies with real stories, proper acting and decent directing? Well snap!

This shock realization has happened twice before in cinema history, namely in 1953 and in 1983, when 2 or 3 decent 3-D movies were flanked by 100 exploitation titles. Surprise, surprise, 3-D has been having a really bad name ever since. The fallout of 3-D boom years has been devastating to the name of 3-D with film critics and the average film-going audience. Stereo 3-D film is barely just recovering from it all and already punters are booing stereoscopic 3-D when discussing the slate of 2009-2010 upcoming film releases planned to be in 3-D. Another box office 3-D bomb like Scar 3-D and the digital 3-D boom year may never actually happen. Because who wants to be associated with a medium that is used in sub-par film releases to draw the extra buck without delivering anything more?


Scar 3D - 3-D analgyph still

So what IS the hope for a prosperous 3-D film future? Let’s revisit the 3 statements of above.

1b) It is difficult to refute this statement, as the proper 3-D photography of Scar 3D did not add even 1% of a more positive review. Perhaps this is due to the fact that 3-D enhances, or enlarges what is presented on screen. So an enhanced bad trip becomes a really bad trip, while an enhanced dream of a picture will become pure heaven. 3-D really can do this, but keep in mind: stereoscopic presentation of your cinematic story amplifies and really exposes the quality of the presented imagery. A bit like super HD showing all the spots and wrinkles on actors faces, which can be a bitch when you were just going for an awe-inspiring high definition experience.

2b) More pleasant delivery of any material will at least take away the blame from the delivery format. Are your patrons walking out of the cinema after 5 minutes, well, at least it wasn’t because your film was in 2-D. But has 2-Dimensionality ever been a reason to stay away from a movie? Sure, movie critics will always find a reason to complain, so the better the delivery format, the more focus there will be on the content of the film. If the content is bad, the critic will write: “The 3-D didn’t help save the bad story”. If the presentation was in 2-D rather than in 3-D, the critic will write: “This movie was clearly shot to work in 3-D, because I couldn’t find any reason to like the story in 2-D”. Can you ever win with these guys? Well, perhaps by presenting a good film that is enhanced by great 3-D…

3b) Poor financial returns for some 3-D movies does not mean that Stereo 3-D cannot add financial value to a film release, as a good movie can benefit from the 3-Dimenasional addition, while really good 3-D, added to a really good movie, makes for big boxoffice success. But go figure, the key term here is ‘good’, not ‘3-D’.

4b) What does the budding 3-D film director need to do to make the 3-D add to the entertainment value of his picture? Enhance the volume of characters, flatten them out, create claustrophobic scenes, deep and wide vistas, poke scary and funny things at the audience, wow with geometric intrigue and dwarf or giantize scenery and characters? All that and more.

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Friday, August 15, 2008

Top three 3-D movies of all time

Just a quick top three after a recent visit to Box Office Mojo:

The top three 3-D movies of all time
Numbes reflect total International Gross
Corrected for inflation (ticket price)

1. Spy Kids 3-D (2003)
35mm Anaglyph projection
$230,504,018

Spy Kids 3-D

2. Jaws 3-D (1983)
35mm Polarized projection
$197,970,873

Jaws 3-D

3. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D (2008)
Digital 3-D projection
$96,387,658

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D

So not only is the highest grossing 3-D movie of all time a very 'simple' anaglyph 35mm projection, its budget is definitely also the lowest of the three.

It is good to see a polarized 35mm projection on the number two spot, and then, finally, a digitally projected 3-D film. James Cameron must be hissing and huffing and puffing. Well, with his upcoming 3-D movie Avatar having a $195,000,000 budget and a niche Sci-fi market to play the movie to, he will certainly continue to do so...

And so which film of the top three is the most recognizable and memorable of them all? Exactly, Jaws 3-D. That film from 1983 that today’s journalists can’t bash enough – whenever they aren’t generally bashing anaglyph as a release format, that is. Too bad then it’s not them, but Robert Rodriguez who is laughing all the way to the bank with a hefty $186,000,000 cheque in his pocket for the anaglyph Spy Kids 3-D. People, wake up to the reality of what works in 3-D and why.

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Friday, August 8, 2008

3-D film in 2009: Mindless Slasher Pics, IMAX Surfing Documentaries and plenty of CGI animation

3-D Releases in 2009:
Mindless Slasher Pics, IMAX Surfing Documentaries and plenty of CGI animation


Amateur Pornstar Killer 3-D

Amateur Pornstar Killer 3-D. What to expect, hmm

2009 is turning out to be a very good year for 3-D film, with 46 feature titles slated for release. So what kinds of movies are these 21st Century 3-D flicks going to be? Has the medium grown up since the last 3-D boom of 1983 and shed its horror / slasher / exploitation tag?

Ahhh, no. At least, not entirely.

3-D film releases in 2009

11 of the upcoming releases next year are documentaries and IMAX pieces, most of them featuring water, waves, surfers and fish. 10 of the 3-D titles of 2009 are (CGI) animation features about a wide variety of zany subjects and crazy characters. All good fun, then. But what is the mainstay of the Stereoscopic live-action releases? You guessed it: mindless slasher horror pics, 9 of them to be precise.

Friday the 13th 3-D

Perhaps the phoenix re-rise of 3-D coincides with the resurgence of slasher horror, which had a peak of its own in the early 1980’s, which would explain why most of the 3-D films coming up are 3-D horror exploitation titles. No intelligent drama, no rom-coms, but some family films (4), science-fiction (3 titles), action (3 of them, two featuring Hulk Hogan), skin flicks (2) and thriller (2), besides the tween-pleasing musical film (2). Or is this just a representation of the types of 2-D movies out there already? Are we that obsessed as a cinema going audience with people being cut into pieces? Cannibalism Holocaust got it right after all (now that would make for a great 3-D remake)…

Cannibalism Holocaust

The upcoming 3-D titles for 2009:
As taken from
The 3-D Revolution 3-D Film List
With film comments by Gary Palmer



1.8 DAYS*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Chuck Fallaw
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print
2.39:1

[Action-horror in which various criminals, all intent on killing each other for a number of reasons, are forced to band together when they find themselves under attack by something which the filmmakers don’t want us to know about just yet... Currently in production]


AMATEUR PORN STAR KILLER 3-D*

USA - 2009 - feature - col

[3-D parody of Shane Ryan’s Amateur Porn Star Killer trilogy (initiated in 2007), mock-documentaries which record the torture and killing of various starlets by a deranged killer, played by Ryan himself. Currently in development]


AROUND THE WORLD IN 50 YEARS*

USA/Belgium - 2009 - feature? - col
D: Ben Stassen
Dimensionalized 3-D
Dual-1570 and Digital 3-D release print
1.44:1 (1570)
1.85:1 (D-Cinema)

[Large Format item which follows the life of a sea turtle from 1959 to the present day, bearing witness to a series of environmental changes wrought by global warming]


AVATAR*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: James Cameron
Digital Widescreen
Fusion 3-D
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print
2.39:1

[Blockbuster science fiction adventure, set in the distant future, in which
humankind attempts to colonize an alien planet, only to face violent
opposition from some of the indigenous population
]


BOOTY*

USA - 2009? - feature - col
D: Jim Byrkit
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Family adventure film in which a group of sexy, sassy women are kidnapped by cutthroat pirates and turn the tables by stealing their captors’ ship, laden with stolen booty. Naturally, the pirates give chase... Currently in development]


CARNAVAL 3-D: THE MAGIC & THE MUSIC*

USA/Brazil - 2009 - feature - col
D: Brett Ratner
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Documentary feature, co-produced by music maestro Quincy Jones, which explores the sights and sounds of Rio de Janeiro’s annual street party]


A CHRISTMAS CAROL*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Robert Zemeckis
Disney Digital 3-D
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print

[CGI animated version of the Dickens’ classic, complete with all-star voice cast. Currently in production]


CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Phil Lord, Chris Miller
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print

[Animated fantasy, based on the bestselling children’s book by Judi Barrett. Whilst attempting to solve the problem of world hunger, a scientist accidentally unleashes a ‘food storm’ which rains all manner of foodstuffs down upon the earth’s populace. Havoc ensues]


DAWN OF THE DEAD*

(aka: Zombies)
USA - 1978/2009 - 126m - col
D: George A. Romero
In-Three Dimensionalization
Digital 3-D release print
1.85:1

[’Dimensionalized’ version of Romero's 2-D shocker (scheduled for 3-D release in 2009), in which a group of disparate characters barricade themselves inside a shopping mall where they’re besieged by hordes of flesh-eating zombies]


DIGGER*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: John A. Gallagher
Fusion 3-D
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Horror-thriller. An emotionally crippled young woman (Heidi Kristoffer) living on an isolated campus during Spring Break finds herself at the mercy of a monstrous killer who lives in the surrounding woodlands]


THE DIVE*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
Fusion 3-D
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Drama based
on the true story of free-divers Francisco Ferreras and Audrey Mestre,
whose competitive nature resulted in extraordinary feats of underwater
endurance
]


FINAL DESTINATION 4*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: David R. Ellis
Fusion 3-D
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Fourth in the supernatural horror franchise (begun in 2000 by the original Final Destination),
in which survivors of a terrible calamity (in this case, a racing car
which ploughs into a grandstand full of spectators!) are stalked and
killed by Death itself. Currently in production
]


FLYING THE FRONTIERS*

Canada - 2009 - short - col
Dual-65mm?
Dual-1570 (IMAX) release print
Sonics-DDP
1.44:1

[Large Format documentary which places audiences in the cockpit of a
bush-plane as it flies over some of the most awe-inspiring landscapes
on earth. Currently in production
]


THE GATE*

USA - 2009 - feature - col

[Remake of the 1987 horror film, in which a group of teenagers stumble across
the gateway to hell in their back yard (as you do), unleashing a
demonic onslaught. Rumoured to be going into production soon, utilizing
an as-yet-unknown 3-D format
]


G-FORCE*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Hoyt Yeatman
Dual-HD Video (live-action)?
Dimensionalized 3-D (animation)
Digital 3-D release print

[Family film, combining live-action and CGI animation, in which a group of
militaristic guinea pigs defend the Earth from a wicked tyrant!
]


GINA D’S HAPPINESS-LAND ADVENTURE*

USA - 2009? - feature - col
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print

[Musical fairy tale spoof, for children]


GODSPEED*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Dustin Voigt
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Action-drama, currently in production]


GODZILLA: 3-D TO THE MAX

(aka: Godzilla vs. Deathla)
(aka: Gojira 3-D)

Canada/Japan - 2009 - 40m - col
D: Yoshimitsu Banno, Keith Melton
IMAX 3-D
Dual-1570
Dual-1570 (IMAX) and Digital 3-D (D-Cinema) release prints
Sonics-DDP (IMAX version)
1.44:1

[Large Format monster movie, currently in development, though the
on-again/off-again production schedule (and constant changes in key
technical personnel) means the film may not be produced anytime soon,
if at all
]


GRAND CANYON: THE HIDDEN SECRETS

USA - 1984/2009 - 36m - col
D: Kieth Merrill
IMAX Digital 3-D
Dimensionalized 3-D
Dual-1570 release print
Sonics-DDP
1.44:1

[’Dimensionalized’ version of a popular Large Format film (originally released in 2-D) which explores the history and geology of the Grand Canyon. Though made available to IMAX theaters worldwide, a copy of the film will be housed on a permanent basis at the Grand Canyon IMAX Theater at the National Geographic Visitors Center in Arizona, USA]


GREAT WHITE 3-D

Canada - 2009 - 40m - col
D: Bob Talbot
IMAX 3-D
Dual-1570
Dual-1570 and -870 release prints
Sonics-DDP
1.44:1 (1570)
1.35:1 (870)

[Large Format documentary which seeks to debunk the prevailing view of great white sharks (propagated by the likes of Jaws, book and film) as little more than man-eating predators]


ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print

[Animated sequel to the original Ice Age (2002), and the first of the series to be produced in 3-D. Currently in production]

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs 3-D


JONAS BROTHERS IN 3-D*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Bruce Hendricks
Fusion 3-D
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Following their guest appearance in Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour (qv), this concert movie toplines the Jonas Brothers - a wholesome US pop-rock band, aimed specifically at teenagers - recorded during their 2008 ‘Burning Up’ tour. Currently in production]


KUNG FU U*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
Digital 3-D release print

[Children’s adventure, starring wrestler-turned-actor Hulk Hogan as an instructor
at Brentwood Academy who takes charge of a group of nerdy rich kids and
transforms them into butt-kicking martial artists. Currently in
development
]


LITTLE HERCULES*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Mohamed Khashoggi
Dual-HD Video (partly)
Dolby Digital
1.85:1

[Former wrestler Hulk Hogan toplines this children’s fantasy as Zeus, father of the young Hercules (Richard Sandrak) who opts to forego his god-like destiny and live as a mortal in modern-day LA. Various adventures follow, some of which are depicted in 3-D]


THE MAGIC TALE*

Spain - 2009 - 45m - col
D: Jordi Llompart
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D and dual-1570 release prints

[Family film, based on the director’s own novel ('El Corazón Sobre la Arena' - The Heart on the Sand), in which a lonely little girl (Eva Gerretsen) takes an imaginary trip to Africa where she experiences a wide range of magical adventures]


MASTER MIND*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Cameron Hood, Kyle Jefferson
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print

[Animated superhero satire in which a major villain is fired after accidentally
killing his arch-rival Uberman. Currently in production
]


MONSTERS VS. ALIENS*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Conrad Vernon, Rob Letterman
Ultimate 3-D
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D (D-Cinema) and dual-1570 (IMAX) release prints

[Animated action-comedy, a spoof of 1950’s creature features. Currently in production]


THE MORTICIAN*

UK - 2009 - feature - col
D: Gareth Maxwell Roberts
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Plot details are somewhat obscure, but Variety describes
this as a combination of ”urban noir, contemporary fairy tale and
psychological thriller... in which kindness triumphs over cruelty”.
Currently in development
]

The Mortitian 3-D


MY BLOODY VALENTINE*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Patrick Lussier
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print
1.85:1

[Remake of the 1981 Canadian film, in which a group of teenagers fall foul of a mad killer whilst celebrating Valentine’s Day in an ‘abandoned’ mine shaft]


OCEANS 3-D: VOYAGE OF A TURTLE*

USA/France - 2009 - feature - col
D: Jean-Jacques Mantello
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Semi-documentary feature, in which an inquisitive sea turtle embarks on a journey across the world’s oceans, seeking the origins of a mysterious sound which echoes across the earth]


OWN3D*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: James Hergott
Fusion 3-D
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Martial arts drama, currently in development. The title should actually read as
'Owned', but has cleverly incorporated the '3-D' tag
]


PIRANHA*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Alexandre Aja
Digital 3-D release print

[Remake of the 1978 movie, in which shoals of prehistoric piranha fish are
released into Arizona's lakes following a minor earth tremor
]


PIRANHAS*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
Fusion 3-D
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[The first in a proposed series of low-budget action epics, in which adventurer Aubrey Blaze leaps to the rescue of a caving party trapped in an isolated cavern overrun by deadly mutant piranhas]


RETURN TO EVEREST

USA/Canada - 2009 - 40m - col
D: Greg Macgillivray
IMAX 3-D
Dual-1570
Sonics-DDP
1.44:1

[3-D sequel to the 2-D Large Format film Everest (1998), which offers dimensional views of the eponymous mountain and the people who live within its shadow]


ROCK THE BOAT*

France - 2009 - feature - col
D: Fabien Suarez, Andre Bessy
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print

[Animated feature, in which a porcupine and a cheetah disguise themselves as a
brand new species - a ‘porceetah’! - after being refused entry to
Noah’s Ark. The first major non-Hollywood film to test the digital 3-D
waters. About time, too.
]


SANCTUM*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Gary Johnstone
Fusion 3-D
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Underwater adventure, in which a deep-sea diving team encounters various dangers
whilst travelling through uncharted territory. Currently in production
]


SHADOW VISION*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Eric Parkinson
Dual-HD Video
Digital 3-D release print

[Thriller, starring Vivian Schilling “as a blind woman who develops the ability to remotely sense and visualize crimes”]


STEP UP 3-D*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Jon Chu
Digital 3-D release print

[Third in the popular teen dance series (initiated by Step Up in 2006), announced as a stereoscopic production utilizing an as-yet unconfirmed 3-D format]


THE STEWARDESSES*

USA - 2009 - feature - col

[Remake of the 1969 film, announced for production in due course, utilizing an as-yet unknown 3-D format]

The Stewardesses 3-D


SURFARI*

Canada - 2009? - short - col

[This IMAX 3-D documentary - following surfer Laird Hamilton across the world
in search of the ‘perfect wave’ - has been ‘in development’ since 2005,
and there’s no sign of a release date yet. Should be pretty spectacular
when - or if - it arrives, though
]


TINTIN*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print

[The first of three ‘motion capture’ 3-D films based on the famous Belgian comic-strip character, currently in production]


TOY STORY*

USA - 1995/2009 - 80m - col
D: John Lasseter
Disney Digital 3-D
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print
1.85:1

[Animated feature, in which a little boy relegates a beloved toy cowboy (voiced
by Tom Hanks) to second place in his affections after buying a
super-duper newfangled robot (Tim Allen). Typical Hollywood fluff,
originally released in 2-D and reworked for stereoscopic presentation
in 2009. Followed by
Toy Story 2 (qv)]


TRANSFORMERS 2*

USA - 2009 - feature - col

[Rumoured to be going into production in an as-yet unknown 3-D format]


ULTIMATE WAVE*

USA - 2009 - short? - col
D: Stephen Low
Dual-1570 release print
Sonics-DDP
1.44:1

[Large Format documentary, in which champion surfer Kelly Slater explores the science of giant waves]


UNDER THE SEA*

USA/Canada - 2009 - short - col
D: Howard Hall
IMAX 3-D
Dual-1570
Sonics-DDP
1.44:1

[Large Format sequel to Deep Sea 3-D (qv), which explores the impact of climate change on ocean wildlife]


UP*

USA - 2009 - feature - col
D: Pete Docter
Disney Digital 3-D
Dimensionalized 3-D
Digital 3-D release print

[Sadly, not a 3-D remake of the Russ Meyer film (now that we'd like to see!), but an animated feature, in which a lonely old man is revitalized by his adventures with a young Wilderness Explorer]

Up by Pixar

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